Why families choose a private service
Some people asked for a small goodbye. Some families need quiet. Sometimes there are practical reasons, such as a small venue or travel. Whatever the reason, the announcement does not have to explain it. A gentle, clear line is enough.
What to include
The name, a photo if wanted, and the dates. A line that says the service will be private. Leave out the time and place of the service, so nobody arrives by mistake. If there will be a later memorial or celebration that everyone may attend, say so, even if the date is not set yet. If people may send cards or messages, say where.
Example wording
"Robert James Turner passed away peacefully at home on September 30. A private service will be held with his immediate family. Thank you for your love and your kind messages." "With love we share that Mom died on Sunday. At her wish, we will say goodbye in a small family service. We will let you know about a memorial gathering later this year." "Cards may be sent to the Turner family, care of Oakwood Funeral Home, 18 Cedar Lane, Fairview."
What to avoid
Avoid giving the time or place of the private service, even in passing. Avoid apologizing; a private service is a normal choice. Avoid a home address in anything that may be shared widely; a funeral home address works well for cards.
As a video
A funeral announcement video is a calm way to share this. It shows the name, photo and dates with the line about the private service, and it reads the same for everyone. You choose the announcement at the top of the maker, and the service fields stay empty. Later, if there is a memorial, you make a separate memorial service invitation video.
Sharing it
Send it in family group texts, by email, or post it on Facebook if the family agrees. Ask that people respect the family's wish. Steps are in how to share a funeral invitation video, and more general announcement texts are in death announcement wording.
Helping people who want to do something
A private service can leave friends unsure how to show they care. A few gentle suggestions in the announcement help: sending a card, making a donation in the person's name, or sharing a memory with the family by message. If the family would rather not receive visits for a while, a line such as "We are grateful for your messages and will be in touch when we are ready" says that kindly. Keep the tone warm and the request simple.
When the private service is followed by a public one
Some families hold a private burial in the morning and invite everyone to a reception or memorial later the same day. In that case, the announcement can include the public part only: "Following a private burial, family and friends are welcome at the Lakewood Community Center from 2:00 PM." That is an invitation in practice; see how to make a funeral invitation video for building it, and what to include in a funeral invitation for the checklist.
Respecting the family's wish
People sometimes ask for the time and place anyway. A kind standard reply helps: "Thank you so much. The family is keeping the service very small, but they would love a card." Funeral homes can help here too: some families ask the funeral director to make the announcement video with them, so the wording is calm and nothing about the service slips in. See funeral invitation videos for funeral homes.
Before you send
- No service time or place in the message
- The line about privacy is gentle
- A later gathering is mentioned, if planned
- Card address is not a home address
About these guides
Written by Funeral Invitations, in plain language, for funeral directors and families. If anything changes about the videos or the price, we update the guides.